Sold Date: February 26, 2023
Start Date: February 19, 2023
Final Price: $10.50 (USD)
Bid Count: 4
Seller Feedback: 2777
Buyer Feedback: 86

Near Mint Dill Pickel Middle Finger Potato Chip Indicative of My Week.

I was having a day. And not a good one. I had recently purchased 50,000 records. 49,978 of which were not good records. Imagine you bought a collection of records sight unseen only to find out you now owned the largest collection of scratched Paul Anka records with cigarette burns on planet earth. I’m not a gambler, buying a storage locker doesn’t fit into the parentheses that compose my personality. But I was fed a bit of misinformation that lead me to believe this storage locker belonged to a member of the Wrecking Crew, but instead it just belonged to some wrecked crew. But I digress, I had to drive from San Diego to L.A. to pick up the unending and weighty (often moldy) contents of this storage locker. My back was feeling similar to Batman’s after his encounter with Bane. After looking through another Home Depot box filled with rat turds and sandpapered Herb Alpert lps, I decided to take a lunch break. I had purchased a bag of Kettle chips from San Diego, this was the one smart thing I did that day, because the same bag of chips in Los Angeles would have cost me about $42 after tax. When I pulled out the first chip there it was. The perfect embodiment of the day, a middle finger aimed at my existence, punching my being like a pugilist of the soul. With willing teeth, every chip is a canvas, but this was an all natural organically produced, unsculpted middle finger. Hungry as I was, I couldn’t eat it. It was by far the best find of the day. I thought to myself, maybe I could sell this on eBay to make up the significant chunk of my savings that I had spent on this brutal spine crushing storage locker. I’ve never sold a potato chip on eBay before, but I’ve sold lots of 78s and I promise I’ll ship it with the carefulness of a tightrope walker carrying a soft dozen Fabergé eggs. There will be a hard shell container, there will be bubble wrap, there will be cardboard thicker than Lizzo. It’ll get to you safely.

This also comes with a copy of one of the better records I thought I found. It accurately frames the constant disappointment of the day. The Beatles 1962-1966. Though I love the Beatles, this isn't normally a record I'd get super heart pounding excited about. But if you saw all the other items in the collection, this was basically a sealed autographed Butcher Cover Promo. It's like taking a drive out in the mountains in an old car with no cd player. The radio stations are few and far between and as you flip through the static, you find evangelical talk radio, more static, mind numbing modern pop music, and suddenly a classic rock radio station starts to fade in from the white noise fuzz and Eddie Money's Two Tickets to Paradise starts to play and you find yourself for the first time in your life turning it up and celebrating the pop masterpiece that it may well be. In the moment I found this record, I thought to myself “finally, a somewhat decent record” but soon after I removed the vinyl within and found The Beach Boys All Summer Long and the Beatles Again. The records aren’t in particularly good shape. And the cover has wear and stains. And still, it was one of the best finds.

This middle finger potato chip also comes with a beautiful fine porcelain handpainted imperial treasures Egg Coddler which serves as a fantastic display case for your newly acquired masterpiece.

Enjoy